August 8, 2010
Hermit Crab and Syringe Scene
 Narrate: The thing that stimulates his curiosity the most about this creature is that it’s the only thing that his father picked from somewhere on the coast and brought back home three times from different month. he don’t know what cause his father to do this, because his father knew that it would die within one week, but he still did it. Maybe this situation is an indication of his father’s emotional state. or it can be an expression of this through the object.
Insinuate:             “Inside the shell, it’s soft and fragile”
                        “But outside, it’s strong and rough”
                        Even sharp thing can’t destroy it, but on the other hand it dies by itself because it has no resistance against the unkindly atmosphere, and reveal how weak it is.

Hermit Crab and Syringe Scene

 Narrate: The thing that stimulates his curiosity the most about this creature is that it’s the only thing that his father picked from somewhere on the coast and brought back home three times from different month. he don’t know what cause his father to do this, because his father knew that it would die within one week, but he still did it. Maybe this situation is an indication of his father’s emotional state. or it can be an expression of this through the object.

Insinuate:             “Inside the shell, it’s soft and fragile”

                        “But outside, it’s strong and rough”

                        Even sharp thing can’t destroy it, but on the other hand it dies by itself because it has no resistance against the unkindly atmosphere, and reveal how weak it is.

August 8, 2010

Worms and Syringe Scene

 Narrate and Insinuate: Nowadays he can still sense the dark side of his emotion and feeling that came from my experience; it gradually decays like disgusting and creepy things climbing around his mind. The other side of this wounded condition of his mind slightly shows up and tries to go against the dark side, but no matter how much time passes by, his mind still has a trace without remedy from that moment. 

August 8, 2010
Bloodstain and syringe scene
Prologue:
“Our love of happiness, warmth and a safe life is why people always love the good things even when they are adulterated by deception and delusion, rather than facing the terrible and suffering truth, the weakness of human mind is so pathetic and piteous.”
Narrate: long period of relationship was adjusted, the gap and time altered by verbal abuse that eats away the good things of his family.
Insinuate: coming from under the blood clot, a red color is revealed around the edge of it.
Narrate: It’s as though we are living by eating our parent’s relation to us; it’s as though we are consuming our parent’s blood to bring us to life and enable us to feel much more safe. (Actually, we can say that we follow our parent’s life on foot), for him, consuming his parent’s blood makes him feel safe, but on the other hand it completely and unconsciously changes his optimistic awareness.
Insinuate: The needlepoint slowly sucks the blood up, inside the tube of syringe air bubble gradually explode, then their stains suddenly absorb back into the blood, making the blood more red, air bubbles exploding as though they are on the boil.

Bloodstain and syringe scene

Prologue:

“Our love of happiness, warmth and a safe life is why people always love the good things even when they are adulterated by deception and delusion, rather than facing the terrible and suffering truth, the weakness of human mind is so pathetic and piteous.”

Narrate: long period of relationship was adjusted, the gap and time altered by verbal abuse that eats away the good things of his family.

Insinuate: coming from under the blood clot, a red color is revealed around the edge of it.

Narrate: It’s as though we are living by eating our parent’s relation to us; it’s as though we are consuming our parent’s blood to bring us to life and enable us to feel much more safe. (Actually, we can say that we follow our parent’s life on foot), for him, consuming his parent’s blood makes him feel safe, but on the other hand it completely and unconsciously changes his optimistic awareness.

Insinuate: The needlepoint slowly sucks the blood up, inside the tube of syringe air bubble gradually explode, then their stains suddenly absorb back into the blood, making the blood more red, air bubbles exploding as though they are on the boil.

August 8, 2010
Syringe and flesh scene
Narrate:
 “Severe dialogue and severe lack of sensitivity affects his mentality and makes it stand still.”
“Severe dialogue and cold lack of sensitivity is like the absorption of painfulness with painfulness
Insinuate:
 Sharp-edged pressure pierces through the flesh and cuts the tendon, the point of needle stabbing through and turning over the muscle, blood inside the needle’s tube slowly transferring to the synapse and dampening the flesh down with the red and black blood.

Syringe and flesh scene

Narrate:

 “Severe dialogue and severe lack of sensitivity affects his mentality and makes it stand still.”

“Severe dialogue and cold lack of sensitivity is like the absorption of painfulness with painfulness

Insinuate:

 Sharp-edged pressure pierces through the flesh and cuts the tendon, the point of needle stabbing through and turning over the muscle, blood inside the needle’s tube slowly transferring to the synapse and dampening the flesh down with the red and black blood.

August 8, 2010
Tooth (pieces) scene
Narrate:
When the bad words were stabbed into my mind, the experience gradually lapsed into the relationship that I now have with other people, it stuck deep down inside the way I relate, is still there and I cannot change it any more.
If I had a chance I want him to know that even though we are family, I still want him to use a speak nicely to me, but in fact everything I wish never happens. “The more close you get, the more distressful is your experience.”  
 Nowadays he still live with his realization that in fact this world is terrible; good thing aren’t good even when your surroundings are so damn perfect. Once you perceive this terrible fact, you will perceive the repetition of eternal frustration. 
Insinuate:
Teeth come loose from the gum, the gooey substance still sticks to the root of each tooth and slowly they fall down to the pool. These few teeth are gory, stains of blood reveal the extraction procedure, mental abnormality deeply infiltrates the root.

Tooth (pieces) scene

Narrate:

When the bad words were stabbed into my mind, the experience gradually lapsed into the relationship that I now have with other people, it stuck deep down inside the way I relate, is still there and I cannot change it any more.

If I had a chance I want him to know that even though we are family, I still want him to use a speak nicely to me, but in fact everything I wish never happens. “The more close you get, the more distressful is your experience.” 

 Nowadays he still live with his realization that in fact this world is terrible; good thing aren’t good even when your surroundings are so damn perfect. Once you perceive this terrible fact, you will perceive the repetition of eternal frustration.

Insinuate:

Teeth come loose from the gum, the gooey substance still sticks to the root of each tooth and slowly they fall down to the pool. These few teeth are gory, stains of blood reveal the extraction procedure, mental abnormality deeply infiltrates the root.

August 8, 2010
Teeth Model Scene

Narrate:
Often these days He feel something really strange happening to him; He always unconsciously gnash his teeth. Even when he is not speaking he still bite the inside of his mouth. Theses things are always unconsciously happening to his body.
Some of his friends tell him that when you gnash your teeth while sleeping it can mean that you have many serious thoughts going on in your head. Actually, he doesn’t gnash his teeth while sleeping but when he is doing things in his daily life.
Insinuate: 
He once heard bad words: it was as though his head and his body was hammering. The result of that, a kind of concussion, slightly ate his sub-conscious and put the same bad words into it.
He once heard bad words: it always make him feel bitter, but whatever or however he feel, even though the speaker is abusive, he can still sense his teeth moving slowly down, transferring pressure to his tongue during the movement of mouth and lips as they are performing their function.
Such moments make me realize that at the same time there is both repentance and un-repentance in his mind. So the question pops into his mind; is his father pretending and if so, why?
Why are the same things still going despite his father deep repentance?
Why do he still feel bitter, even though he know that repentance will come after?

Teeth Model Scene

Narrate:

Often these days He feel something really strange happening to him; He always unconsciously gnash his teeth. Even when he is not speaking he still bite the inside of his mouth. Theses things are always unconsciously happening to his body.

Some of his friends tell him that when you gnash your teeth while sleeping it can mean that you have many serious thoughts going on in your head. Actually, he doesn’t gnash his teeth while sleeping but when he is doing things in his daily life.

Insinuate:

He once heard bad words: it was as though his head and his body was hammering. The result of that, a kind of concussion, slightly ate his sub-conscious and put the same bad words into it.

He once heard bad words: it always make him feel bitter, but whatever or however he feel, even though the speaker is abusive, he can still sense his teeth moving slowly down, transferring pressure to his tongue during the movement of mouth and lips as they are performing their function.

Such moments make me realize that at the same time there is both repentance and un-repentance in his mind. So the question pops into his mind; is his father pretending and if so, why?

Why are the same things still going despite his father deep repentance?

Why do he still feel bitter, even though he know that repentance will come after?

August 8, 2010
He In Me(Writing Part)

Introduction

When he was young, he used to enjoy going outside and hanging around with his friends. Unfortunately, he had to come home even earlier than everybody; otherwise his dad would close the door. Even when he came home late he knew that his dad would be downstairs waiting to open the door for him! He still followed his dad’s discipline. It made him feel that he could be happy with his life only within his dad’s boundary, questions popping into his mind

Why did his dad force him to came back earlier than usual for kids?

Was night time too frightening for him?

He never knew

With everything that he opened his mouth to ask his dad, the answer wasn’t the answer that he think it ought to have been.

            His family is a stable Chinese one, but many stories are buried in their history and it’s so complicated.

            The more close you get, the more distressful you experience.

His mum is so adorable, and she has a strong heart, but he almost never look up to her with great respect. Maybe that’s why deep in his mind He always look down on female gender, and He never feel that female gender is pitiful and weak.

Since He was born, He always saw how his parents reacted to each other, and he could see how powerful his dad was in his family, so maybe that’s why in his mind he realized that his mom is totally ineffectual.

He is equanimity.

She is even more equanimity.

What he realizes from this is that his parents directly connected to his mind and made it subtly absorb every word, every action he saw, and transformed and adjusted it into a new aspect. 

August 8, 2010
"Psychology: to understand user
Psyche (Greek) “Soul and Mind”
[Ideal of study soul or self]
Psychopathology – mental illness
- Pain or suffering
- Medical: organs or cell have cause of illness
[Study of illness in relation to the mind]"